Citi Golf

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Citi Golf
RCR CitiGolf Thumb.png
Car Details
Make Volkswagen
Model Citi Golf
Year 2007
Owner -
Episode Details
Episode Link Watch
Season The Early Years
Transcript
Credits nlabodin

The South African Citi Golf is. Why is VW still making this car? Why is an American reviewing it? Why can't I think about the book? It continues is-ing. What is? Swazy-Land. Fun to be a passenger.

Transcript[edit]

Mr. Regular
Okay, my wallet is coming out of my back pocket and it’s going into my front pocket, and my hand is going in my pocket and staying on that wallet, until we’re safely back in the car. That’s my motoring experience, in South Africa.

*intro*

Is this a 2007 model, really? Has the global automotive industry forgotten about South Africa? You know? I’ll bet there's some overfed, chronic mental-undresser and slot-machine addict in Deutschland right now, and he sees a rerun of The Lion King and remembers, “Oh, yeah, how they doin’? Last time I checked, South Africa still liked heavy Synth-pop, lager with beef floating in it, and square cars with round headlights.”

Why send them the new model? Why not take an existing model, slap some two thousand- whatever numbers on it and uh, you know, the same old stock, and put’em on the boat and send ‘em on down

The Voice
EVERY HEART RINGS TRUE FOR THE RED WHITE AND BLUE.

Mr. Regular
The Chio (sp) Golf, or the Citi Golf, I don't know how to pronounce that, comes with a 1.6 liter four-banger,with a might be fuel-injected, umm but starts and sounds and kinda behaves like it’s carbureted.

Jason Bourne plays rugby!

*page turns*

Volkswagen built the inside of the Chicino (sp) Golf out of old Playskool kitchen sets and old discarded DVD cases. You can have the car in any color, as long as it makes the car is nice and boring-looking.

I fled to South Africa, after the Commonwealth found out about “the Book”. The Book... The Book, I CAN'T THINK ABOUT THE BOOK!

Sunny weather there, yeah the sky was a permanent brilliant blue stretching on and on and on, to me, I was on another planet, Planet Nice.

The suspension is a *sheep noise* design, with *spring noise* tires. The engine puts out *punch sound*-teen horsepower, at *record scratch*dred RPM. Fuel capacity is wha-*glass breaking* liters, which will take you about *fog horn* miles. The retro styling is endearing and I can see why so many people like them.

*sound of pencil on paper*

References[edit]