2010 Nissan 370Z
|Air Date||November 17, 2013|
|Credits||the stig farmer|
You humans, you have constructed a very swift terrestrial vehicle. Yet, why do you continue to resist travel by light? The Nissan 370Z is the spiritual successor to the Dautsun 240Z. It is a fast cheap sports car. In a straight line, it is much faster than a Base Porsche Cayman. It is also the first car with electronic rev-matching on a manual gearbox stick.
This is not a gross RCR video. You have been very patient. Good. Very good. Next week...YOU WILL BE REWARDED!
[CHEWING] Mm. [CHEWING] Mm. Yep. Your sport cars alone made this trip worth it. --- [INTRO SONG by THE ROMAN] I say Regular Car Reviews [COUGHING] --- [MONOLOGUE by MR REGULAR] This is, what my report calls, "Nissan 370Z". It is a vehicle for sporting purposes. To accomplish this task, this Nissan is bestowed a propulsion unit with six reactor cores arranged in a "V" pattern. The total volumetric capacity of these "cylinders", as you call them, is three point seven litres. A six speed manual with premiere computer-controlled rev-matching capability turns vertical motion into varying degrees of circular motion. The 370Z's engine is designated "VQ-37-VHR". The VQ-37-VHR engine series started one year prior to the 370Z, where it learned to walk in the Infiniti G37, and the Skyline V36 370 GT. Skylines. [TEXT: Skyline R32 V-Spec] Skylines. [TEXT: Skyline R33 ENR33 GTS-4] Skylines. [TEXT: Skyline R33 Series-2 NISMO 400R] How many Skylines are there on this planet? [TEXT: Skyline R34 GT-R V-Spec II Nür Skyline 350GT-8 Skyline R34 GT-R NISMO S-tune] You have... curious designations to your conveyances. Why are you engines called "front engines", and others "mid engines", and still others "front-mid engines"? How much of this block of alloy must balance between the front wheels before one is to change its name? You want limited slip differentials, but you don't want to feel them. It's like what you insist on calling "families" on my planet. This Z's LSD is viscous. Synthetic oil circulates among the discs and gears and couplers, moving from one... and then another, lubricating each of them. Styling doesn't work on my planet the same way as it works here. Transportation devices... they're not cars in the way you think of them. Take this bar for instance, running behind you seats, it means nothing. It looks structural, but it is not. Where I am from, there is no need for pretend engineering. Hm. You humans. You were trying to intimidate the early 1970s with this conveyance. But you can't, because you have invented rules, and have made pieces of paper that say you can't. Is it safety legislation? I trying to understand it. If you want a Datsun 240Z from 1970, just build a new one. Let me tell you something. You humans, most of you, subscribe to this policy of litigation. A thought isn't real unless it's printed on a rectangular sheet of papyrus, or embossed in a slab of aluminum, bolted to a dowel of mild steel and driven into the earth. You display rules to stop yourselves from evolving. On my planet, we have no restrictions. No laws, no lawyers. In fact, rules would be a non-sequitur on my planet, as it would be on most others. But I digress. Propellant monitor. That is what this is. Each illuminated point of light represents on US Gallon of flammable liquid stored onboard for future use. Hm. You humans. It's astonishing how much velocity you can extract from your ancestors. The 370Z has 332 horsepower for use. I, we, wonder if you will ever embrace travel by light, but you desire linear travel, and accelerating, and decelerating, innumerable times during the course of each sojourn, a practice universally accepted as pointless. And yet, you see a point to all this extravagance. Hm. Soon is time for me to go. If you'll excuse me, I have a beam of light to catch. Oh. Now that you have found the spiritual successor to the Datsun 240, please take care of it. --- [END CARD] [OWNER IN PASSENGER SEAT:] Go for it. [MR REGULAR:] Alright, we're forty. [MR REGULAR ACCELERATES] [LAUGHTER] --- [MR REGULAR, HEADCAM] Congratulations! [TEXT: Extolment!] You just sat through two very calm reviews. Guess what. You just ate your vegetables. So next week... COMES THE MEAT!