1994 Dodge Caravan

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1994 Dodge Caravan
RCR Dodge Caravan Thumb.png
Car Details
Make Dodge
Model Caravan
Year 1994
Owner -
Episode Details
Episode Link Watch
Season The Early Years
Air Date December 28, 2012
Transcript
Credits Giacomo

The 2nd Generation Caravan (minivan) is a paragon of Family Values. Its multi-fuction design and car-like ride makes it a superb people-mover, cargo-hauler, town runabout, and commuter. In this video, we will talk about the Caravan's history and features.

Transcript[edit]

The Dodge Caravan is good for hauling kids around. The Dodge Caravan is good for hauling kiiiiiii-

--
INTRO SONG: "Pumps and a Bump" by MC Hammer
We like the girls with the Pumps and a bump, uh!

Just when I thought could I hit another one,
So up jumps see me with the pumps and a bump-

--

MONOLOGUE by MR REGULAR
//Note: background voice is indicated by {}

1994 was the 10 year anniversary of the minivan. And the Chrysler Corporation wanted to make something special. They took their baseline Caravan and ditched the standard engine, and at the time Chrysler owned about 40% of Mitsubishi. Through grey and captive imports, Chrysler had free use {I have to know what time it is...} of many Japanese drivetrain components, and even entire engines! The 3-liter V6 from the Mitsubishi Galant came standar- {I HAVE TO KNOW THE TIME IT IS!} This engine also appeared in some of the higher-trim LeBarons, as well. It's no Honda VTEC, but it handled hard revs better than the Chrysler-designed engines offered in the minivan.

*creepy guitar strumming begins*
It's a bit of a sad story because, after miles rolled on, Ed Koch, Fiona Apple, and myself got into an ejaculating contest for distance in the press bus during the Linda Tripp debacle*. It's a bit of a sad story, because as the miles rolled on that Mitsubishi engine had to deal with Chrysler's tall-geared automatic 4-speed gearbox, which sucked up a lot of power and had a tendency to get into vicious battle raps with the safety shift lock.

Nope! No stow-and-go seats! They came aaaall the way out. They came aaaall the way out. Lots of room when they come out. Enough room in the back to play a game I like to call... THE RUSTY SANDUSKY.

The second-generation Caravan is the last vehicle made by Chrysler to be based on the K platform. Lee Iacocca developed the K platform in the early '80s, and that saved the Chrysler Corporation from going under. Just like I save all my BOWEL MOVEMENTS FOR OUTSIDE-SIDE-SIDE... 

---
LIVE, MR. REGULAR IN PORTA-POTTY AT KUTZTOWN UNIVERSITY, BAD QUALITY CAMERA
I'm in a porta potty at the North End of campus!
I'm in a porta potty at the North End of campus!
I'm in a porta potty and no one's around,
*opens door* Hello everybody in town!
---
MONOLOGUE by MR REGULAR
Getting a second-generation minivan to top 200,000 miles is hard, without preventive maintenance. You see, in Northern states the underbelly - ehhh... - will rust and grinding away with an angle grinder is necessary to keep all that oxidation away. Pay close attention to the engine mounts and leaf springs, as they will take the brunt of road salts.

EVERYTHING- OHHH, WE BASE SYSTEMS ON THE NUMBER TEN, TEN! TEN! TEN! TEN! TEN! TEN! TEN! TEN! TEN! *opening of Prince's '7' plays* TEN! TEN! TEN! TEN! TEN- UGH!

Notes[edit]

* The 'Linda Tripp debacle' is referring to how Linda Tripp, a civil servant, recorded Monika Lewinisky's phone conversations with sex scandal-ridden President Bill Clinton in 1998. Tripp was fired from the government and later went through a lawsuit, and now works with her husband in a retail business in small-town Virginia.[1]

References[edit]

  1. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Linda_Tripp#Involvement_in_the_Lewinsky_scandal